Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
