How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
