Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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