Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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