That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
