The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
