i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
