Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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