We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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