I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
