The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
