So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
