My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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