Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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