Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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