New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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