so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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