How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
