i was born a porn star she said
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize