Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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