his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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