he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
As shirtless as possible
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
