there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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