Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
