so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
