I'm really into asian looking animals
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
