So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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