Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
