I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
