put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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