i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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