Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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