I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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