butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize