No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
did i walk over a car last night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
