She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
