Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
