dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
