I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
