return my video game
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
