Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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