I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
