i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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