and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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