She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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