Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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