Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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