dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
