I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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