yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
