hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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