My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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