I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're making bets on your personal life
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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