That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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