You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
