dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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