i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
