see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
