yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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