I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize