9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I party with great urgency now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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