I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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