I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
