I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
