Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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