oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
