I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
